


The Undisclosed Location (Congressional Fanfiction)

by cursedrebecca



Category: American Politics - Fandom, United States Congress, United States Government
Genre: American Coup, American Politics, Enemies to Lovers, F/M, I hate myself for creating this, January 6 2021, M/M, Mentioned Donald Trump, Ted Cruz is the Zodiac Killer, United States, Unites States Congress, bernie is a badass, bernie sanders aoc bromance
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-01-10
Updated: 2021-01-31
Packaged: 2021-03-14 22:54:31
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,205
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28678470
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cursedrebecca/pseuds/cursedrebecca
Summary: On January 6, 2021, a group of violent right-wing terrorists stormed the United States Capitol in an attempt to prevent Congress from certifying the results of the 2020 Presidential Election. Luckily, Congressmen and women were evacuated before the insurrectionists could reach them. They tweeted to the world that they were safe in an "undisclosed location". But where was this undisclosed location and what did they do there? Find out the love, friendship, collaboration, and fighting that truly happened on that fateful day.
Relationships: Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez & Bernie Sanders, Mitch McConnell/Nancy Pelosi, Ted Cruz/Lindsey Graham
Comments: 21
Kudos: 55





	1. Chapter 1 - AOC

**Author's Note:**

> i hope this is used as a primary source for an APUSH DBQ someday

United States Representative Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez (D-NY) sighed and slumped forward onto her desk as she listened to the Oklahoma Congressman drone on about voter fraud and rigged elections. _When will this end?_ she thought to herself. _The courts have proved there was no fraud over and over again._

  
The Congressman’s words seemed to blur together as he said so much but meant nothing at all. That is, until muffled sounds from outside the chamber began to reach the Congress members inside. AOC looked up, confused. She glanced around the House chamber, seeing equally bewildered expressions on her colleague’s faces. Her eyes met Senator Bernie Sanders’ (D-VT) from across the room. He gave her a look that seemed to say, “What’s goin’ on here?” Just as she was about to shrug, a shout broke the uneasy silence of the room.

  
“GET DOWN!” screamed a secret service agent from somewhere near the chamber’s doors. Without thinking twice, AOC dropped from her seat and hit the floor, not a moment too soon as gunshots rang out through the air. Screams erupted from all around the room. AOC bit back the urge to jump up and see if any of her fellow Americans had been injured, but she didn’t dare to move. If anyone had been hit, she didn’t want to join them among the wounded. _Shit._ She couldn’t say she didn’t see this coming after the turmoil of the 2020 presidential election, but she had hoped Capitol security would be strong enough to keep America’s top government officials safe. From her position on the floor, she couldn’t see anything besides the people directly to either side of her. She tried to muster up the words to whisper to them, to ask if they were ok, but her mouth was too dry to speak. As the initial spike of adrenaline from the gunshots began to fade, the reality of her situation began to sink in. She could die today. This could be it. The end. Surrounded by the muffled sounds of panicked government officials, whimpers held back by pride or greater fear, heavy breathing, and soft sobs, AOC thought about what might come after if they didn’t survive this day. There was so much she still had to do. So many goals, legislature to pass, people to help. The Green New Deal and Medicare for All still weren’t a reality. If her Congress died, would the next carry on those goals?

  
 _No,_ she thought to herself. _You can’t let yourself sink into this hole! You’re not dead yet. You’re not dead yet! Don’t give up, you can make it through this!_ Renewed by these thoughts of hope, AOC looked around again. Listening closely, she could hear sounds of fear, but none of pain. Nobody had been hit. Shouts and bangs from outside the chamber were still sounding, but the House floor was quiet. Soft but urgent voices began to cut through the tense air. “Come on! Go, go, go!” Secret Service agents’ words floated across the large room as frantic footsteps hit against the hard floor. AOC slowly pulled herself just far enough up to peek over the seat in front of her. In the few seconds she risked looking, she saw several of her colleagues running for a door at the back of the chamber, hunched over partially behind chairs and desks and closely flanked by security.

  
A flood of relief rushed through her. _They’re going to get everyone out,_ she thought. _Thank God!_ Before long, an agent appeared at the end of her row and hastily beckoned to her and a few other Representatives, leading them out of the chamber. The path to the door out was less than ten yards, but it still felt like the longest walk of AOC’s life. Her heart was pounding so hard she was sure the far-right terrorists outside the main doors could hear it. When she slipped through the back doors, a massive weight lifted from her shoulders, but it was quickly replaced by another bout of panic. _If the terrorists got into Congress, what else are they going to do?_

  
AOC’s train of thought was cut off by a hand on her arm. She jumped violently, twisting to face her attacker. “Woah, Representative, it’s just me!” Bernie Sanders faced her, his wise old visage comforting her in this moment of stress.

  
“Bernie! You’re safe!” AOC pulled the old man into a quick hug, relieved that he was ok.

  
“I’m very glad that you’re okay as well,” Bernie responded. “We need to get out of here. A few other Congressmen and I have gotten spots in a safe location, and I saved one for you. We need to go now, the cars are about to leave.”

  
AOC nodded wordlessly and followed Bernie through the back of the Capitol building, brushing past dozens of other shell-shocked Senators and Representatives. The two of them reached the doors out of the building and pushed through quickly, sprinting as fast as they could to a fleet of black SUV’s. She didn’t have much of a chance to look around, but she could hear shouting and chaos of rioters on all sides. As soon as the doors to the car she and Senator Sanders jumped into slammed shut, the driver hit the pedal to the metal and zoomed out of the National Mall.

  
Only once the car was in motion did AOC take a good look around the inside of the car. In the driver’s seat sat an agent dressed in a black suit and earpiece. Sitting next to him in the passenger’s seat was Lindsey Graham (R-SC), and the loose, wrinkly skin of his face was set in an expression of fear and guilt. She and Bernie took the seats right behind the agent and Graham. Three more officials were crammed into the back row of the van, all looking supremely uncomfortable with the seating arrangement but glad to be on their way away from the chaos of the House floor. The Congress members in question were Nancy Pelosi (D-CA), Ted Cruz (R-TX), and Mitch McConnell (R-KY).

  
“Are all of you okay?” Pelosi asked.

  
“I’m alri—”

  
“Not you, Ted, I don’t care.” She cut off Senator Cruz with a wave of her hand. “Ocasio-Cortez and Sanders, are you alright?”

  
Bernie answered quickly, “We’re O.K.. Are all of you?” He gestured to the other Congress members.

  
“I’m alri—”

  
“Not you, Ted, I don’t care,” Bernie shook his head.

  
At this point, the agent driving the car began to speak. “Senators and Representatives,” he began, “When I took this job, I didn’t actually expect to be in the middle of a situation like this. I’ll be the first to admit we were unprepared for what just happened.”

  
“Unprepared?” AOC was shocked. “You guys let a bunch of rioters — no, domestic terrorists — into the Capitol! That’s a little more severe than ‘unprepared’!”

  
The agent let out a sigh. “I know, I didn’t have control of the response to the protests. How we got here is irrelevant now. The point is, we have several undisclosed locations ready to operate as safehoused in the city; we’re taking Congress members to them now. You’ll return to the Capitol when it’s safe to do so, but for now, we have to keep you safe.”

  
Mitch McConnell made a strange huffing sound from the back of the car. AOC turned around to look at him. His face was red and his eyes were bloodshot, as if he had just smoked a fat joint or cried for a few hours. “Keep us safe?” he drawled. “We already near met God today.”

  
Bernie spun around in his seat to face the other senator, anger flashing across his face. “Mitch, I think we all know you’re never going to meet God. You’ll be going the other way, if you know what I mean.”

  
Lindsay Graham and Ted Cruz gasped loudly as Mitch turned a deeper shade of red. “Now you listen here,” he spluttered, jabbing a strangely gross and discolored finger in Bernie’s direction.

  
“Stop it!” AOC interrupted. “We’re supposed to be adults here.” Bernie flipped Mitch off. AOC noticed. “Hey!” she interjected. “That includes you too, Bernie.” Bernie turned away and slumped back into his chair, looking dejected. “Come on, can’t we put all this aside for a couple hours while we try to survive a terrorist attack?” she continued.

  
“She’s right,” the agent agreed. “We’re almost to the safe house. When we get there, you all need to get out of the car as fast as you can and run down to the basement. It’s in the basement of the restaurant ‘Comet Ping Pong’.”

  
“Hang on,” Pelosi interrupted, “Cruz, isn’t that your favorite conspiracy’s place?”

  
Ted’s face lit up with excitement. “So there is a basement in that restaurant? Does that mean pizzagate is real? That’s the pizzagate place!”

  
The agent rolled his eyes. “Yes, there’s a secret basement, but it’s a hidden safehouse for situations like these. That stupid conspiracy has been disproved time and time again.”  
“Yeah, Ted,” Bernie joined in, “shut up.”

* * *

They continued the rest of the car ride in silence, waiting to get to the restaurant. Before long, a bright neon sign reading “COMET” came into view against the flat, grey sky. “Are you all ready?” asked the agent, starting to parallel park the car just in front of the doors. “I’ll radio in and let them know you’re coming, give me just a second.” He pulled a walkie talkie out of his pocket and muttered a few of what sounded like code words into it. As he put the device back into his pocket, another agent appeared just behind the restaurant’s doors. “That’s your cue. Go, guys, go!”

  
AOC and Lindsay opened their side doors and speed walked to the door. The agent inside opened it for them, and they rushed through. They were followed closely by the rest of their colleagues. The agent inside ushered them through the dining area to the kitchen. The kitchen was closed down due to COVID-19 regulations, so it was eerily empty. Rows of gleaming pots and pans hung unused next to cold pizza ovens. The agent led the Congress members to a small, unassuming door labeled “storage”, and he unlocked it with a heavy key. It swung inward, revealing a steep staircase.

  
The representatives and senators slowly climbed the set of stairs, which let out into a slightly damp basement. A sliver of natural light trickled in through a narrow window across one of the top walls, showing the edge of the sidewalk and the nearly empty street beyond. The light revealed a small room with cement floors and walls, with two doors leading off from it. The center of the room was occupied with a table surrounded by a set of folding chairs.

  
The agent pointed to the door on the left wall then the right, saying “That first one is a bathroom, and the second has a couch and some more chairs if you want to sit somewhere more comfortable. I’ll be just outside the upstairs door. Give a shout if you need anything.” Without another word, he turned and walked back up the stairs, leaving the six Congress members standing awkwardly in the dim room.

  
“Well,” AOC said, turning to the others, “looks like this is going to be a long afternoon.”


	2. Chapter 2- Mitch McConnell

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> oh god why are so many of you guys reading this. WHY ARE SO MANY OF YOU LOOKING AT THE CONGRESS FANFIC TAGS
> 
> i love every single one of you and i would do anything for my loyal fans!! i am very busy with school but i will do my best to update this saga regularly for you amazing heathens

This morning had started like any other for United States Senate Majority Leader Mitch McConnell. He woke up at 4am, before the sun came up, and he stared out at the pitch black sky. He brushed his teeth then immediately drank a cup of orange juice while reading through emails from his corporate donors. The sun rose everywhere around his neighborhood except his house (it’s impossible for light to reach any of Mitch’s dwellings). 

The Senate Majority Leader knew that he had a big day ahead of him. Honestly, he was still reeling from Trump’s loss back in November. Originally, he had planned to attempt to undermine America’s democracy along with several of his colleagues by objecting to the counting of the electoral votes. However, after some long contemplation, Mitch decided he would stand on the side of democracy instead of continuing to fight for a losing president. This move felt out of character even for him, but he had realized that his colleagues were fighting a losing battle with the objections. 

No matter what happened, Mitch’s days were numbered. In 2015, he had sold his soul to the devil in order to become the Senate Majority leader. For the past five years, he reveled in the great power this gave him, but he could feel his strength waning as the devil tightened his grip on his soul. The signs of his deal had even started to become visible. Mitch appeared even more old and sickly as usual, and the press had begun to notice his bruised and weak hands. With so little time left, he was making a last-ditch attempt to be on the right side of history in accepting that Joe Biden would be president. 

Nerves steeled (as much as the spineless excuse for a human could), Mitch arrived in Congress that morning and gave a speech stating his views. Republicans, too lost in the sauce of their delusion to accept defeat, glared at him and viewed him as a traitor. Democrats looked upon him similarly, knowing that his condemnation of the objections to the electoral vote to be too little too late. Mitch felt alone. Scorned by those who had once loved him as well as those who had always hated him. He sat, dejected, in his seat, waiting for this horrible day to be over. 

The voice of an Oklahoma Congressman droned on, spinning tall tales of election fraud and rigged machines. Mitch rested a hand on his weird, saggy chin flaps, beginning to zone out. He was broken from his stupor by muffled bangs and shouts. 

You already know what happened next. Tense moments on the House floor, waiting for death or escape. Mitch was one of the Congress members who sobbed into the floor, praying that God would take whatever was left of his soul even though he had sold it to Satan years ago. The mad dash to getaway cars outside the building. The tense car ride with Congress Members Bernie Sanders (D-VT), Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez (D-NY), Ted Cruz (R-TX), Lindsey Graham (R-SC), and Nancy Pelosi (D-CA). He was quiet for most of the journey to the safehouse, save for his exchange with Bernie. 

Mitch had always been a little bit afraid of Bernie. Bernie had all the integrity Mitch lacked, and Mitch was terrified that his constituents would catch on to the fact that politicians could actually serve their voters interests. When Bernie had implied that Mitch was going to hell, it hit a little too close to home (given his pact with the devil to gain political power in exchange for his soul). He wasn’t sure how he would survive hours trapped with Bernie in the undisclosed location. 

Arriving in the safehouse underneath the Pizzagate pizza place, Mitch was very underwhelmed. He had at least hoped for somewhere with, like, a minifridge. Unfortunately, the small basement only had a few sparsely furnished rooms and a cabinet full of ancient board games. 

After all of the Congress members had stepped into the room, the agents who had led them there left to guard the outside doors. AOC sat down at the table in the center of the main room and began to check twitter. “We should each release a statement telling the public that we’re safe,” she said to everyone. 

“Screw a statement,” Bernie said, sitting down next to her and pulling out his phone. “I’m gonna tweet about how that idiot Trump incited the violence that could’ve gotten us all killed!” He began furiously typing into his phone.

“Hey!” Ted Cruz spoke up for the first time since he had been shut down in the car. “You can’t blame our amazing President Donald Trump for this attack! He’s just doing everything he can to ensure a fair election!”

Nancy Pelosi gasped in shock and anger before responding to Ted. “Amazing president? This is a shameful assault on our democracy, and you and Trump stoked the flames for it to get this bad!”

This conversation was making Mitch very uncomfortable. He knew that fighting to keep Trump in office was a losing game, but he also thought there was no reason for them to be arguing about it here and now. He definitely didn’t want to be caught in the middle of a Ted vs Everyone war for the next few hours. 

Before he could speak up, Lindsey Graham put a hand on Ted’s shoulder. “Come on, Ted,” he said, “it isn’t worth it.”

“But—” Ted tried to continue arguing, pulling his mask down further below his nose. 

“Also you’re wrong,” Lindsey muttered, as if it pained him to admit. 

“Come on,” Mitch found the courage to speak. “Let’s do something besides argue.”

Bernie stood up and turned to face Mitch. “No, Mitch, I think this is a good time to argue.” The anger on his face was visible even behind his mask. “You and Graham may have denounced this election madness now, but you still encouraged it for far too long! And Ted, I hold you and your stupid objections personally responsible for the events of today!” Turning to face Ted Cruz, Bernie looked like he was about to throw a punch. Mitch looked between the two senators, sure they were seconds away from disaster. He saw AOC slowly bringing up her phone to record the chaos that was close to breaking loose. 

Nancy Pelosi reluctantly stepped in front of Bernie as Lindsey Graham pulled Ted back, diffusing some of the tension that had been about to manifest in a fight. AOC lowered her phone camera, looking almost disappointed. “This isn’t worth it. We’re some of the United States’ top officials, we can do better than this,” Nancy said to Ted and Bernie. 

Mitch stepped in and said, “For once, I agree with Pelosi.” Honestly, at this moment, she looked kind of hot to him. 

AOC rolled her eyes. “Okay then,” she said. “Let’s release our statements saying that we’re safe then play a board game or something. I think I saw some over there.” She pointed at the cabinet on the other side of the room near the staircase door. 

“Whatever,” Ted huffed. “I’m going into the other room.” He walked into the other room with the couch in it and slammed the door. The seconds of silence after his exit were broken by the muffled sounds of “Stressed Out” by 21 Pilots started playing way too loudly from the other room. Lindsey Graham had a conflicted expression, like he was deciding whether to follow Ted or not.

The remaining Congress members sat down around the table as AOC pulled several board games out of the cabinet. She set Risk, Monopoly, and a Trivia Box down on the table. Mitch knew at that moment that he had made a terrible mistake by agreeing to play. 


End file.
